


Where Love lay Sleeping

by blakefancier



Series: Harry/Sirius series [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-01
Updated: 2011-05-01
Packaged: 2017-10-18 21:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/193252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blakefancier/pseuds/blakefancier
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is Sirius's world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Love lay Sleeping

It was always about Harry. From the first moment he had held the boy --only two hours old--Harry had become Sirius's world.

James's son; perfect and his to protect.

Snape wanted him to stay behind. Wanted him to sit and wait while everyone else went to save Harry. Snape didn't understand; how could the greasy git understand?

Sirius couldn't say behind when Harry needed him. He couldn't fail Harry the way he had failed James and Lily.

And what did Snape know anyway? Snape knew nothing of the daily struggle to keep happiness alive. Snape had done everything, given himself up to Voldemort, given himself up to evil and had avoided Azkaban only to create a prison within himself.

But Sirius hadn't given up. He'd fought Azkaban, the dementors, hell, he had fought his own blood. He wouldn't give up now. He wouldn't stand aside. Harry needed him, needed him for protection and so much more.

And he needed Harry because Harry was his. Because Harry knew. He knew what it was like to live in a home devoid of love and affection. He knew that blood was nothing and what mattered, what really mattered, was that someone wanted you and needed you.

He wanted to tell Harry, 'You can stay with me. You can belong to me and I can belong to you. You are the universe. You are my everything.'

Harry was everything.

He tried to explain his feelings to Remus once. When they were wrapped around each other, he told Remus about the emptiness that Harry filled. It had hurt Remus, Sirius could see it in his eyes, the realization that he was not everything. So Sirius never spoke of it again.

He sometimes wished that Remus could have been his everything. And for a time, he almost believed it was possible. That first night together, when Remus touched his mouth with trembling fingers. When he had kissed Remus, and slid into Remus and moaned against Remus's skin--he thought he had found a place to belong.

But Remus had left. Time and time again he left Sirius to the darkness. Maybe it would have been easier to destory the memories that haunted his step if Remus had been his. The memories of his mother sucking the soul from him, the happiness. That was how he survived the dementors--Azkaban *was* his childhood.

And Remus did nothing to stop the pain. Perhaps if he had, then Sirius could have found some freedom in the halls and rooms and ancestral objects. But he hadn't.

He hadn't because it was Harry and it would always be Harry.

He was the culmination of Sirius's love...and his failure.

Harry was home.


End file.
